And that unconscious ease that comes of being so young – still oblivious to the blows that will destroy parts of her. Past the age of forty, everyone is like a bombed-out city.

Carlito always used to say teenagers don’t start drugs because they taste good, or because the kids are bored, or because they want to forget their problems, or because of their hormones, no, they get high to destroy their intelligence. Because if they kept it intact, just when it’s at its peak, they wouldn’t be able to bear the pain of the disgust they’d feel for their parents.

Waking into a room, checking whether there are men in it, wanting to please them. Not talking to loud. Not being forceful. Not sitting with your legs splayed to be more comfortable. Not speaking with authority. Not talking about money. Not wanting a position of authority. Not seeking glory. Not laughing too loud. Not being too funny. Pleasing men is a complex art, which requires that one should eliminate anything remotely concerned with power.

But he never makes a call to ask for help. He cannot put his finger on precisely what is stopping him. He has had time to think about it. It remains an enigma. He scoured the internet in search of advice for pathological procrastinators. He drew up lists of what he had to lose, what he would be risking, and what he had to gain. It made no difference. He calls no-one.

Una mujer con estilo de puta le interesa a casi todo el mundo.

When I was hospitalized at the age of fifteen, the psychiatrist asked me why I had made myself so ugly. I thought he had nerve asking me that, since I thought I looked pretty damn cool with red spiky hair, black lips, white lace tights, and outsize army boots. He insisted, was I afraid of being pretty? He said that I had such lovely eyes.

Banning the practice of prostitution within an appropriate legal framework is actively preventing the female class from making a decent living and turning a profit from its very stigmatization.

She’s lost her links to her old world, but she has never felt close to the one she’s in now. She’s torn in different directions, at a loss.

Men are trapped in a different dichotomy, that which gives them a hard-on must remain a problem. Above all, no reconciliation. Because a peculiar thing about men is that they tend to despise that which they desire, as well as despising themselves for the physical manifestation of that desire.

One has to forget about being sweet, pleasant, and helpful; one has to give oneself permission to publicly dominate the other. One has to manage without the other’s approval.